Fighting the Guilt

Feeing torn. Yet I need to place my needs first. It's my turn again. I detach (with love). I've succumbed to allowing others to care for my daughter. The primal need to be present for every single seizure is subsiding. I can walk away but more than likely, it's always going to be just plain fucking hard! Each and every time, it's an inward battle. Society tells me I'm selfish, yet the stamina needed to keep placing one foot in front of the other makes it a god damn requirement!!! I'm numb. Desensitized to a certain degree... Medicated to keep my emotions level so I can function. I need to be that last tree standing. Rooted, strong...firmly planted, in the eye of the storm; on the very edge or fully submerged. Do I wait until it's too late to indulge in my dreams, or do I do it... Now, think now.