Thursday, January 30, 2014

The world is crashing down…but life must go on

The world seems to be crashing down around you...meanwhile you have high hopes that your special needs child will cooperate but we all know in the real world that that is not humanly possible. My epileptic and special needs child is my barometer. If I'm stressed she's stressed, if I need space…she needs to be attached to me like glue…this also goes in the other direction…If I'm ecstatic, she's ecstatic…if I am jolly, she is jolly. 

but
I CAN'T ALWAYS BE POSITIVE AND HAPPY AND SERENE. 
I am only human. 
I have needs too, 
I get stressed 
and I need help sometimes… 

We started the week with a five to ten minute seizure on Monday morning at 5am. I call this the 'Lucid Dreaming' type. Since, she has been struggling in school with attention, recognition and memory on a day to day basis. Somedays my child can't even stay focused enough to get dressed in the morning. 

We have an appoint in Portland tomorrow with our Portland Neurologist. He hopefully has received all of Izabelle's records from Boston Children's Hospital. We will discuss options of VNS, the Ketogenic Diet, Pharmaceutical and other natural options. I will be heading down alone again…

Something needs to change, somehow get less complicated. Here's to hoping that we can get her seizure free but that hope is slowly running out...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Updating the seizure plan at school

Here is the information that I have forwarded to the school nurse to be included in Izabelle's seizure plan:

Izabelle has three types of seizures. They are all labeled as complex partial seizures by her Boston Neurology Team. I will know more at the end of January when their report is complete. If possible, these are the seizure types that I would like staff to look out for:

Complex Partial with Clinical Signs
The most common and most identifiable seizure that Izabelle has last for 25-35 seconds. It is identified with a hands to face motion with a arch of the body forward. Repetitive sounds or noise making accompany this seizure. The onset of this seizure is quick and easy to miss. 

Complex Partial - Stare/stuck
The second most common and least identifiable seizure that Izabelle has may last for 25-35 seconds. It is only identifiable if Izabelle stops what she is doing and stares blankly. Her eyes seem to get more dilated as well. Izabelle is not able to answer questions or follow directives at this time. 

Complex Partial - Lucid Dreaming
The least common of Izabelle's seizures is when she is seizing as she goes about her task. She may be eating cereal or drawing but she gets stuck in the middle of the task. She cannot answer questions or follow directives at this time. She may also mutter sentences over and over that may or may not have to do with the current situation. She may wander and touch objects as she walks about the room in a dream-like state. This can last up to 10 minutes...

If any teacher or staff member suspects that Izabelle has had a seizure during school,  I would like the following to happen: 
- Call the office for back up. 
- I would like a staff member to stay with Izabelle until the seizure is over. I stand in a protective position to make sure she doesn't fall which hasn't happened to my knowledge. 
- I would like Izabelle to have at least 30 minutes of down time with close monitoring. This may be reading a book or drawing. 
- Call the nurse or myself to check if Izabelle is ok. 

Izabelle's seizures at this point do not follow with a postictal period with the current dosing of her medications. She seems to bounce right back to her regular day afterwards. 

I have also noticed, especially in the morning that Izabelle is very clumsy and more out of it. She is given almost all her medications before she goes to bed at night and I suspect this is the reason. 

It is amazing to me that last year this time when Izabelle was in Kindergarten that both the staff and I were mostly in the dark about what was going on with Izabelle during the school day. Even if Izabelle isn't a surgical candidate… I sure have learned a lot about my daughter's seizure types and what she needs. Onward!


Thursday, January 2, 2014

Medication Increase Insanity - December 28th

...No matter how much we may love being mothers to pieces there are times when…you fall to pieces… 

After numerous calls to both Boston Neurology and Maine Medical Neurology last week, Dr. Morrison decided to up Izabelle's current dose of Zonisamide from 150mg to 200mg meanwhile keeping Treleptal the same.
With a med increase or decrease there comes increased side effects and decreased parental stamina. Izabelle started her new dosing on Saturday, December 28th. She had returned to me after four days with her father for Christmas. No matter what, it takes about 24 hours for us to re-acclimate to being together after that much time apart but with the added physical stress on Izabelle's body we both had a hard time with re-entry. Non-stop talking, clinginess, meltdowns, re-direction… 
you name it.
Having a child with epilepsy makes 
discipline tricky…not to mention sharing custody and being a single mother. I hadn't realized until … the poop (almost literally) hit the fan yesterday that I have been coddling Izabelle since our admission to Boston Children's Hospital. I feel guilty for a number of reasons when holding her accountable for her behavior. Things like… its not her fault… she's been through so much… it might be the medications… it might be the seizures… it's because she has to live in two different homes… on and on... go through my mind.
Yesterday, after a wonderful lunch out in town to celebrate New Year's Day together… we decided to stop into the local Co-op. Izabelle had to use the bathroom. I thought nothing of it…until what felt like 20 minutes had past waiting for her in the bathroom. She started to scream bloody murder and say things like it hurts… it won't come out!… She wouldn't let me touch her…and began to shiver… here I am alone in a grocery store…where I'm sure everyone could hear my daughter's screams. I called my mother who told me that I would have to get her home somehow even if she was kicking and screaming. It was then, I realized that the medication increase had constipated Izabelle even worse then before…
So… I got her dressed… walked her out of the store… she was weak and couldn't walk very well. The store clerk asked if she was ok… I was honest and said that she is constipated. I was mortified. I raced home as quick as I could… (stupid snow) and got her back on the toilet and called the Doctor. He suggested a bath to calm her body… and a suppository if I could make it back out to the store (I'm never showing my face in the Co-op again!). I made her drink water, gave her mineral oil (the only thing I had on hand) and Ibprophen. My friend called and advised me to start Izabelle on Macrobiotics and Magnesium supplements to deal with the digestive issues naturally instead of weakening her system with Miralax as the doctor suggested. After things calmed down we ventured out again… It was ridiculous. I bought apple juice, prunes, fruit, milk of magnesia, probiotics and magnesium vitamins…
As soon as we got home I went straight to work because… if she liked it or not…this little girl was going to poop! Down went the milk of magnesia and not so gracefully I mortifyingly administered the suppository. It was hell! Seriously, I did NOT sign up for this part of parenting…
After about 30 minutes the deed was done… and I had lost every ounce of parental energy. I decided it was a good time for Izabelle to watch a movie so her tired mother could collect her thoughts.